Teething - you are doing it wrong!

Firstly I feel I should explain myself and my sorry lack of posts. It all started (as you may remember) with a broken sorry iphone. I put the blog on hold because... well lets face it, my phone has all my photos, instant access to blogger when something amusing happens or I am bored and I actually now hate my PC and my laptop.

having to *sigh* switch them on and all that... such a chore.

So as per my last post I was delighted to have my trusty phone returned to me. OVER THE MOON!

..... for 2 days.....

on the third day (sounding suspiciously religious) a problem rose again and the phone wouldn't actually switch on! Yup, it got sent back to me in a worse state than it went away.

So it is back with the insurers and I am very very sad. I am at a loss!

Anyway, back to the post!

Way back when I met up with the Mumsnet ladies in York (where the phone got damaged) one of the mums joked I had it so easy with Sophie that I would wake up one morning and she would have a full set of teeth. Errr... I didn't think so!

Cue 26th June 2012, my mother was sitting with the baby and commented 'Sophie isn't half biting now she has that tooth.'

Tooth? EXCUSE ME?! GIRL IS 18 WEEKS OLD!

Yes, indeed Sophie had gotten her first tooth through with no real teething at all. Two days later her dad said 'Awww who has two tootipegs through?'

what?! SHE ONLY HAD ONE LAST NIGHT!!!

obligatory picture:

(excuse the fact my finger looks filthy and diseased! I can assure you that it is not!!)

so yes, we are 19 weeks old today with two teeth and Mummy had to run around and get a mini toothbrush and baby toothpaste just for bubz. A bit more warning would have been nice but at least she hasn't suffered (at all!) so far! Lucky I am at the dentist on Friday and can get her registered!

Mummy has her phone back!

Yes Sophie. Mummy has her phone back from the nice 'thank fuck for them' insurance people

Yes this means that you will be photographed relentlessly for half the time, and ignored for the other half while mummy blogs about you.

Oh. There is a LOT to catch up on. Oh yes!

Immunisations. This time it's the STUPID nurse doing it wrong!

So if you know me either in real life or on Mumsnet you will know I have EXTREME needle phobia. I had therapy before I even tried to get pregnant, and had hypnotherapy all through my pregnancy just to get me through it.

There are two reasons why I developed this phobia

1) I had my BCG at 7 as my 'uncle' had TB - how inconsiderate of him. Anyway, the 6 pricks came up twice and I was very scared by the time I got the needle.

2) The moronic nurse at my GP surgery. This woman should not be allowed to speak IMO. She doesn't think before she says anything and is very careless with her words.

When I was 13 I missed the Meningitis vaccinations at school. Flat out refused them at school due to my fear. My mum made me go to the GP to get the needle off the nurse. My mum came with me, such was my fear. I won't call it a phobia at this point because while I was terrified, I was going to have the needle. We walked in and my Mum explained to the nurse about my fear and how terrified I was.

The nurse called me silly and then prepared the needle. I sat still but had tears rolling down my face. The nurse (we'll call her Cow-Pat) looked at me and said:

 'You can't be so silly, if you move even a cm the needle could snap off and get embedded in your arm.'

Well that was it, I told her I was not having it and off I flounced (OK I may have mentioned breaking her arm if she came any closer with that thing)

   I did not have another needle for 16 years when I got pregnant with Sophie. It was such a HUGE achievement I posted on Mumsnet about it and was so proud of myself! Despite the 45 minute dramatics, my Husband was so proud too and even got me a new iphone as a well done. Turned out I needed more needles having been rhesus D negative too!

Roll on to the present day and Sophie needs some Jabs. I am now of the Jekyll and Hyde mindset of telling people I am OK, while weeping with terror on the inside. THE LAST THING I want to do is make Sophie associate needles with terror or crying.

My mum booked all the jab days off work so she could be there in case I freaked out. The first round of jabs I was fine as we had a different nurse and she was so lovely. I could even manage to look at the needles and watch her get them. Same with the second round. Fantastic!!!

Yesterday we had the last round of injections and My heart sank as I walked in and saw Cow-Pat sitting there. She sat us down and instantly I remembered why this idiot should not be allowed to speak.

Cow Pat: This will have to be quick because I am very busy today. So I see Sophie hasn't been here for over 5 weeks?


Me: That's not right, she was here exactly 4 weeks ago


Cow Pat: 1, 2, 3... 4 oh right, you're right.


Me: .......


Cow Pat: And this is her second lot of injections (while preparing needles)


Me: No... Its her third 


Cow Pat: Oh... right. I just need to prepare the needles then. It's so easy to pick up and inject the wrong thing! Ha! And I am super rushing as it is really really busy due to the Jubilee last week.


Me: ....*heart in mouth, looking pleadingly at my mum* I don't think I can be here for this one

My Mum: She has a terrible phobia

(which Pat had clearly forgotten, having given me it 17 years before)

Cow-Pat: Oh Sophie you have got a silly Mummy. You're not going to be silly like your mummy

Seriously I could have punched the Cow in the face. I don't want Sophie to be scared, I don't let her see my fear, I smile at her when she has the injections, I take my mother, I do everything I can to protect her from associating needles with pain and terror and I am still deemed as 'silly'. I think I did a damn good job and Sophie didn't even cry at the first needle! Any medical professional who can describe a phobia sufferer as silly, stupid or any other lowly turn is a complete idiot!

Its now the next day and Sophie is too hot and have had to give calpol for the first time EVER after a needle and she has only been awake 1.5 hours. I am trying to stay calm and know she needs to rest but that stupid Cow-Pat has now got me wondering 'did she give her the right needles, did she inject her with something she shouldn't?' I checked my red book and surprise surprise the moron hasn't even filled it out!

I actually have forms to change doctors before she is due her 1 year immunisations. I'll be fucking damned if I let that incompetent cow anywhere near me or Sophie again. I don't even know if it's me being PFB or putting myself at ease due to the past. I actually hate her, she featured in so many of my therapy sessions.

Post pregnancy Weightloss: You're doing it wrong!

As discussed previously... somewhere... when I got pregnant I ate whatever I could get away with! I ate more chocolate than ever before despite not having any real cravings.

I got to 37 weeks without a stretch mark and still feeling relatively good about myself.

Then: BAM! 38 weeks hit, I had a terrible craving for cake mix and I noticed something on my stomach that looked like a tiny bruise. 'OH how odd, look at this Chris.' I said calling him over 'I don't remember knocking myself!'

His reply? 'Errrr Kayano, that is the start of a stretch mark...'

I just decided to ignore it, if I got a stretch mark I got a stretch mark... One wasn't so bad right? Right?!

By the end of the week I felt horribly bloated, heavy and had a stomach like a tiger. This was not good. It also hadn't helped that I was 7 months pregnant at Christmas with it's endless sweets, treats and general overeating.

I was 12 stone on the nose before pregnancy and a size 14/16
I am currently 13 stone 8lbs (and a size 16/18)
My boobs have gone from a 32G to 36HH.
Believe me, on a 5'2 frame those boobs are absolutely horrendous!

Even though I was quite large I had always had a very flat stomach which I loved having. (I'll admit I was wide though!) Now I have a saggy, crinkly 'where the fuck has the baby gone?@belly that looks like it was totally taken by surprise.

I signed up for a Fit4Life program at the surestart centre where we learn about healthy eating, portion sizes and exercise. I was very excited. I downloaded the 'My Fitness Pal' app. The girls I met on mumsnet set up a FatClub that I joined and decided to make a go of it.

What I hadn't counted on was my stupid self. I'm totally struggling to get out of the mind frame of 'oh that tastes nice, I'll just have another one...'. I now have swimwear I haven't used, a file full of Fit4Life information and recipes that I tell myself I will start next week, a group of FatClub friends and membership of a 'group' that I try to ignore (shame!) and an iphone app just taking up space.

Intentions and actions are very different things...

sort of like when instead of cleaning the house I instead spent my time creating a 'clean the house' playlist on itunes....

I need to get motivated. I can't even use the excuse ' I'm a new mum, I'm rushed off my feet!' because Sophie sleeps so well and I can set my watch by her that I sometimes forget she is there!

I've totally written off this week due to the bank holidays, the Jubilee and the Husband being off all next week. That and the discovery of a pub near the Mother in Law that does a 'Cakeaway' service with the best cheesecake I have ever tasted...

Hmmmm... I really am doing it wrong! See below for evidence for how good sleepy babies are for hiding and distracting from an oversized belly, they are this seasons oversized handbag I am certain:

Plan of action:
Picture of Cheryl Cole on the fridge
Picture of Cheryl Ferguson on the Fridge
a list of what I will eat that week (I am a list obsessive) 
walk everywhere
go swimming (proper swimming, no splish splashing about)
do some workouts from fitness TV
cut out full fat fizzy drinks
No chocolate!!! AT ALL!!!

(Starting next week, nudge nudge, wink wink)

So I shattered my iPhone screen...

No updates for a couple of days because at the end of the York meet (see previous post) I gave my friend a hug and dropped my phone.

So a short term lack of updates.

I am typing on said shattered screen at the minute waiting for my insurance to sort out my horrible mess. I actually got a bit of glass (is it glass?! No idea?) stuck in my thumb yesterday but I shall persevere!

Not so PFB does a MN meet!

*WARNING* this post is soppy and gushy *SORRY*

So back in the 'oh I'm pregnant and don't actually know another pregnant person' days I decided to venture into the Mumsnet antenatal boards.

A lot of people already knew each other to chat as I only joined in the second thread.

I soon discovered that it was a great place to moan and also helped me to appreciate how easy I had it. It's so easy to lose perspective when you are the only pregnant person you know.

I really felt this thread was great when a poster (I'll call her Fi) told me she had the same due date as me! Turns out our due date was a busy one!

Anyway, after a couple of months someone said 'are you girls on Facebook?' and of course a lot of us were. It didn't take long to set up a secret group, safe from the eyes of nosey husband. My nosey husband reads this blog but I allow that. It was my idea. 'Chris read my blog! I'm hilarious!' (and arrogant ;P)

The group is a sacred place where we could discuss everything from wonderful baby kicks to being tormented by no sleep and the less pleasant consequences of pregnancy. We talk about our husbands, our homes, we had a phase of posting pictures of our messy front rooms and kitchens... We had live labour threads, supportive threads for anyone who needed it. We still have this as the group is still going strong!

The most important thing we have: Friendship. We have all made some amazing friends.

Fi and me both went overdue with our babies and had them on the same day. Motormouth lisa gave us kitchen envy and made us all laugh. Miranda made us jealous. Martha amazed us with her togetherness being the baby of the bus.

We even had new arrivals as people continued to join and then friends who also had babies joined. Along with blogging it's an amazing virtual place to be and not do everyone's head in with the baby stuff.

The second best thing? It's evolved. It's not all about the baby stuff. It's about clothes, make up, glossy boxes, graze boxes, a fat club, a book group, a store of recipes to try...

I love it!

Anyway it was only a matter of time before we all started to meet up in person. There have been Bristol meets, a Leeds meet, a York meet and loads more.

I was going to Leeds but was sick last minute. Gutted! I finally made it to York yesterday! It was amazing. Five of us (all with big travel systems) on the ting cobbled streets of York. We were quite a sight!)

We had lunch in strata and took up the whole back room, wandered around some shops (yes we got your fathers day present nosey husband) and then just sat on the grass next to York Minster. It was absolute bliss and I loved meeting everyone! Such beautiful babies and mums too! We even managed to steal a mum and baby and take them back to the north east with us!

It was sunny and gorgeous and the baby's barely made a peep!

I haven't got permission from everyone to name babies or show pics so I won't, but here is Sophie in the morning before we left:

Pram Wars!

Before Sophie was even a dream my friends were expecting their first child. I was of the mindset of 'how nice' followed by instant indifference.

Then the baby was born. BAM I wanted one. I suspect it was the same desire for what other people have and I would have been the same if it had been a kitten and not a baby.

Then they showed us their pram... Or rather 'travel system'. The infamous iCandy peach. As I pushed it with one finger (!) around their living room I was in awe of this amazing pram.

'This is amazing!'

'it wants to be for the price!'

Cue Kayano puzzlement. It's just a pushchair surely? My friends told me the price was over £800!

Me and manshape left with a distinct feeling of 'It was a lovely pram but they have more money then sense.'

Coming from an adopted family with a whole host of fertility issues me and manshape decided to try for our family shortly afterwards (turned out there was no need for concern as I got pregnant the month BEFORE we started trying)

We started looking at travel systems. I subconsciously started comparing every single thing about every single pushchair to the iCandy.

Mama' and Papa's Sola? Hood looks cheap, basket too small

Silver cross surf? Basket too small and odd

Other makes? Well for that price I could just get an iCandy etc.

So in the end I decided I was shallow and did just want to have an iCandy. We went and tried a few but upon researching online I discovered they were releasing a brand new model. The 'Strawberry'.

I wanted it for the name before I even saw it! I even had a strawberry pram charm!!

I ordered and it was due in summer. Then we rang in summer an it was due in November. Then October. I was due Sophie in Feb. it got delayed and delayed and delayed and I was panicking. I had the uppababy vista as my backup.

In January we got a call saying our pram would be in on Saturday. Go in on the Saturday told some had arrived but not enough and we might get one in February. The John lewis didnt believe me that I had been called!!!

Pulled out my iPhone and niftily opened the Mumsnet app where I had conveniently detailed the details of call on the pram section including date and tine and the mans accent!

After much worry we got the pram 3 days after my due date... And luckily Sophie was also late by 5 days!

When I walk anywhere I wait for people to comment on the amazing pushchair because obviously it is the best one ever ever ever... In full of love for it. Walk around with a 'yes this is the iCandy Strawberry bitches.' No one does comment though. Someone stopped me in town yesterday and said 'oh what a lovely...'

And I was thinking '...pushchair?'

But sadly she finished with '... Pair of socks.'

They were pound land socks too.... Sigh.

I had to wait for a while to get the seat part of the pushchair but that was fine as I had the carrycot.

I finally got her in it today and can you believe it? The little bugger cried and flipped me the bird!!!

Lesson learned. Don't be so bloody shallow!